This will be my last entry from China, enjoy!
I’ve been thinking about how I’ve changed during this trip and realized that this trip has been filled with positive times as well as negative ones. I’ve noticed that I’ve gone through some phases. In the first six weeks was very exciting because I travelled a lot and met a lot of really interesting people. I felt that my Chinese improved significantly during this time because I was really enthusiastic about it and would practice it whenever I could. I think I was a more ‘open’ person both to meeting new people as well as to various aspects of Chinese culture. The first half was what my mom calls the ‘honeymoon’ phase. It what’s absolutely unforgettable! I had the time of my life in May and June. Aiesec JiaoTong had an excellent reception for me that I’ll never forget. They helped me get connected with the rest of the other Aiesecers in China. When meeting up with some Aiesecers from Beijing at Aiesec Shanghai’s annual report, I felt that many opportunities had opened up. I initially planned to stay in Beijing for a week but I because I had so much fun with the people there my stay was actually a month. Also, for a week I when I stayed in TianJin, I got the opportunity to live with a Chinese family. That experience I will never forget. My Chinese improved a lot during that time even though it was filled with very embarrassing and uncomfortable moments when my language fell through. But still, I had a blast and I certainly would like to do that again. But unfortunately, with good times comes hard times and that’s what July and August were.
Leaving Beijing was very difficult for me. I had become emotionally attached to the city, the food and the people (yes, emotionally attached to food). As I left on the train to Shanghai I felt like a part of me was left behind in Beijing. It took me a couple days to realize that I was back in Shanghai and to adapt to the life there. I sort of felt isolated from the people around, like I wasn’t connecting with any of them.
When I started my study in Fudan University, I quickly realized that it would be very difficult to communicate with other Aiesecers. The Aiesecers were my gateway into Shanghai. I was left with the task of figuring how to ‘survive’ by myself (yes, it was a new concept to me then). I had to figure out where good places were to eat, how to order food…how to order GOOD food, how to get around the city, how to get a haircut and various other problems. School itself was OK in the beginning. My only regret was that I should’ve strengthened my basic skills before I moved up to an advanced level. The classes were very fast; too fast to actually learn anything unless you studied all afternoon (which I wasn’t prepared to do). I learned mostly through conversation with the teacher and other foreign and Chinese students. I didn’t like the dorms from day one. The building was at the top corner of Fudan away from all the other student dorms. All my necessities were located within my room, so there was no need to go outside to get anything which meant it wasn’t easy to meet other students living at the dorm. Fortunately, I met some really interesting people early on which helped a lot. My roommate in the July semester was at times a pain in the butt but also made my stay at Fudan a lot better. I can go on forever listing all the things I hate about him but he had connections to Shanghai (he’s Shanghainese). His relatives showed us around the city, so I’m grateful for that. Communication wise, his Chinese was awful, but nevertheless, better than mine and for some reason, his Chinese was so confusing that he could confuse the clerk at the store to give extra money when receiving change.
I think I was really anti social in July. The reason was that there were so many Americans studying at the time and I just didn’t feel comfortable talking with them and hanging out with them. I resented the fact that I was learning Chinese in China but I was still learning it surrounded by foreigners. I didn’t have my Aiesecers to practice my Chinese with and to help me find other locals to practice with. I was turning grumpier by the day and got frustrated at how difficult the class had become. I just didn’t feel comfortable with learning anymore.
August was a lot better compared to July because I met many interesting people and was more comfortable participating in class. I didn’t have a roommate anymore so I didn’t feel like I was obligated to bring him along (unlike my old roommate). The Aiesecers in Shanghai finally started running training sessions and having social events. I finally felt like I was adapting to life in Shanghai. I could travel to many places by myself as well as understand the Shanghainese accent of mandarin Chinese. Yes, I felt that I was making progress in my Chinese! But…then I had to leave for Beijing.
Many people have told me that once you leave a place, and come back later, you won’t feel the same way you felt the first time and I totally agree! Sure I came back to Beijing where I had a blast six weeks earlier but it just didn’t feel the same. I had to get to know everyone again and still it felt different than before. The things I did that excited me the first time in Beijing (like going to parties) didn’t as much the second time around. I guess I’ve just gotten used to the life here. I remember that I always pictured my trip to China to be three months of pure fun but that wasn’t the case. I guess the concept of ‘fun’ has changed during my stay here. I enjoy going out and exploring the city by myself or hanging just with some close friends instead of with a big group.
With the date of my departure looming closer every day, I find myself more and more wondering about how life will be when I’m back in Canada and how my trip in China influenced the way I will live my life with my family. I wonder how much everyone has changed (especially my little brother Vincent), how my room looks like, and how life as a student will feel like again. Yes, I’m ready to leave China. It’s time to go on with my life and work hard for my career. Would I consider living or working in China in the future? You bet I would! China is too rich in history and culture to learn in a summer or even a year or two. I know I probably will never ‘understand’ China but I sure darn hope I’ll get the gist of it!
David
