this afternoon i learned some chinese folk songs. the one we learned was a mongolian folk song or something, maybe i translated it wrong but thats what i heard. the teacher was very enthusiastic about teaching it. she gave us a big talk the history of it and even had a recording of it. unfortunately my friend and i got singled out to sing it solo, but we did ok.

the ceeder is leaving the dorm room tomorrow, so thats one less person i have to take care of. i like taking care of people but im feeling so drained these days. im not doing enough homework and not enough aiesec work, i feel guilty. but my roomate my neighbours always want to go out and im the one they want to go with, or if i want to go somewhere, they all have to come with me, do i ever get some time to myself? ..i guess not. go anti-social feelings! ah man, i just cant shake this feeling off, i dont like to talk to the people who are in the language program. it feels like they ahve their own life and they dont have time to talk to another person from outside their little 'group'. i've just given up on making friends here. this is so not like me...but its the feeling im getting now. ..it could be because i just get so annoyed with Americans that i just dont talk to them ...i dunno...frustration.

i guess thats what it is, im frustrated. my chinese 'honeymoon' phase is over, and i have to face 'reality' of life in china. but a foreign students life is hardly reality in myopinion. in beijing i felt included , but here, foreign students...feel so outof place. in my opinion i enjoy myself better surrounded not with foreigners. i came to china to avoid certain 'types' of personalities only found in north america.

just cant shake this feeling. its ruining everything.